YII Blog

Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.