YII Blog

Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don't need.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

Biologically speaking, if something bites you it's more likely to be female.